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September 07, 2004
Going Beyond "Hello"
I'm good at saying hello. I'm good at making small talk, and listening to people. I'm good at taking down names and numbers, and promising to "keep in touch."
I'm not good with anything beyond that.
I think it's partly because I'm not motivated enough to do it. I'm too comfortable just staying home, typing away. I'm too comfortable with routine. The only way to break me out of my rut is if I want to visit a museum, a gallery, watch a movie, try out a new restaurant, or just walk around. And since that's usually either by myself or with Brandon, there isn't any incentive there to go with someone else either.
The only times I really miss having a group of friends is when something happens that makes me realize I'm lacking. Like when people say things like "Don't you have any friends with a car?" or "You could pass any extra tickets to your friends" or "Refer us to 5 friends and you could get X amount of money" or "You could use the extra plates in a dinner party" or "Try working out with a buddy." At times like that, I'd be like "Er... what friends?" And people would laugh at me, thinking I was joking. Of course. A nice, friendly, person like me, would obviously have friends.
And it's true. I do have friends. Only they're all online. Blogger friends, IRC friends, IM friends, Internet message board friends. All of them are online. Which is great, because you get access to them 24/7. But it's not so great when you would really like real-life ones. You know, the ones that aren't miles and miles away from you. The ones that wouldn't cost an arm and a leg just to call on the phone. Those.
It's one of those things they neglected to teach in school. How to go beyond the Hello. Do you call the next day and ask if they want to see a movie? Do you email them constantly asking them what's up? Do you ask them for their IM name and go nuts?
I probably answered my own question, didn't I? I probably should do one of those things. Again, no incentive to do anything until recently. Boredom works its magic, once again. Being a "quiet" and "shy" person doesn't help either (The quiet and shy words are in quotes because I can be not-quiet and not-shy around different people).
All this, and I'm still refusing to participate in social networking services. I'm mad, I say. Mad.
PS. I should note that these are the inane ramblings of someone who is up way past her bedtime.
Posted by Nicole at September 7, 2004 03:29 AM
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Comments
you have a bedtime?!
i think a lot of people from our generation find ourselves in the same boat as you. but i see nothing wrong with a few close friends and a significant other. that along with your family should be more than enough.
i think some people who are overly friendly are annoying. "my friends from school are having a party, but i don't want to go because my work friends are having a barbecue...and I have to leave early because I have to meet up with my boyfriend's buddies..." if it was me, i would just hang out for awhile with my favorite friend and. i would not want to waste my time spreading myself thin.
Posted by: Jack at September 8, 2004 04:12 AM
I'm so bad with small talk that I always end up making myself look stupid or talking about inappropriate things.
I totally can relate to this.
Posted by: Nala at September 8, 2004 05:08 AM
Jack: I don't *have* "a few close friends." Not in real-life anyway. Like I said earlier, they're *all* on-line.
Posted by: Nicole Lee at September 8, 2004 07:28 AM
well, you have a husband almost...
so he counts as 1 of each. and you have Nala.
Posted by: jack at September 8, 2004 11:07 AM
I don't have any close friends too ! I watch movies alone. My only close friend passed away 2 years ago. And my pet budgie bird flew away. But going out alone is quite fun because you don't have to wait for anybody and just go wherever you want.... heh heh
Posted by: Jamie Soon at September 11, 2004 05:17 AM