Category Archives: Wedding plans

The Wedding Anti-Whirlwind

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We’re approaching the final stretch before the wedding, and things are surprisingly chill. Whenever folks ask us if we’re nervous, our response is always a terribly boring “no.” I’m almost getting nervous that we aren’t nervous. Or something like that.

Brandon’s aunt threw a wedding shower for me yesterday evening, and it was a lovely low-key affair. In addition to members of Brandon’s family, I invited MJ and Courtney to join in. Had I known men were allowed I would’ve invited Matt and mayhaps Jasmeet as well, but no harm no foul.

We started off the evening by watching the Superbowl (or the ads, rather). I have to admit I wasn’t paying much attention to the game, and mentally tuned out anything TV-related (barring the occasional amusing ad). Then we proceeded to have dinner, which was a nice potluck thing (a bit of a preview to the actual wedding, since that’ll be a potluck of sorts too). We shared tales of meaty dreams and Oprah nightmares (don’t ask), as well as romantic indiscretions (again, don’t ask). It was nice just sitting down and chatting. It’s a little odd — I don’t really know most of the guests well enough, and yet I felt quite comfortable just saying whatever came to my head. I’m guessing it had something to do about it being my shower and all.

Then came the gift-opening, which was the main highlight of the evening. Quite a few came from my wedding registries, which was cool (a gravy separator, 3 sheet pans, a strainer). There was also a nice set of candlestick holders. And what’s a wedding shower without some lingerie? Courtney and MJ gave me not one, not two, but five separate lingerie items — 3 thongs and 2 sexy slips to be specific. “The gift that keeps on giving” as someone so eloquently put. I wasn’t as embarassed as I thought I’d be either; maybe it was because I was expecting it, but I was actually quite delighted by the pretty slips. Soft and fuzzy!

The best gift of all though, came from Brandon’s mom. Not only did she give me a jade necklace and a white garter belt, but she handed me the engagement ring that she received from Brandon’s grandmother, who received the ring from Brandon’s great-grandmother. The ring has been passed down from generation to generation, and is roughly 90 years old. I was aghast that I was chosen to be the next one to receive it — I could’ve sworn someone else would get it, like Brandon’s cousin or something. I’ll have to take a picture of the ring; I can’t believe it’s lasted for so many decades. I was quite moved, but I didn’t let my emotions show until later that evening (Asian emotional repression, what can I say). It’s really a deep honor to be given that sort of heirloom — it shows that I’ve truly been accepted into the fold, so to speak.

There are still a few minor things to straighten out prior to the main event. I have to go get my brows shaped, perhaps call a few more people to make sure of certain things, etc. As usual, I’m concerned about my weight, but not much more can be done about that (That’s why Photoshop was invented, right?). But all in all, everything’s going pretty smoothly.

Probably the only thing that I’m concerned about are the post-wedding arrangements. Having to go to immigration, and reading up on the laws and regulations, etc. Fun. It’s probably best not to think about that for this week at least.

Here’s hoping everything will be lovely come Feb. 12 :)

Gift registries

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Updated with links:
Because people have been asking for them, we’re now registered at Amazon and Williams-Sonoma (Just enter Nicole Lee in the name fields and California as the state of residence).

Some notes on the lists:

  • The Vaio PC is a low priority thing. I just added that there because I’m feeling a little lazy these days and not entirely sure if I want to build my own PC. Just deleted it from the list. Because it really IS a low priority.
  • Additional gift ideas include anything that’s Alton Brown-related. Just check with me to make sure I don’t have it already.
  • I’m pretty easy to please. A $10 spatula would be just as awesome as a $300 food processor.
  • You can get us items that are NOT on the lists. Amazon and Williams-Sonoma have pretty limited inventory after all.
  • Brandon is easy to please. Although I’d strongly recommend giving him a Flax gift certificate.
  • Cold hard cash (or Amazon gift certs) is always welcome.
  • Warm snuggly hugs are even more welcome.
  • Yummy food is definitely welcome.
  • Just sending us thoughts of love and good will is welcome.

Hope that covers everything.

For better or worse

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We met with our pastor today, to discuss our relationship and the taking of vows. Her name is Terry and her church is called That New Church, a member of the Metropolitan Community of Churches. As you could probably guess from perusing the church’s website, Terry is gay, and her church is quite a progressive one. This is probably the perfect arrangement for us, since we have pretty progressive beliefs too (though not quite as religious).

During our discussion, she wanted to know a little more about our relationship. There were the standard questions; like how we met, why we wanted to get married, how we dealt with our differences, and so forth. Then there were the “deeper” questions; what does it mean for us to be faithful, and what were the biggest challenges we’ve had to face. She provided a safe space for us to be honest, and we ended up having a pretty revealing discussion. This doesn’t mean that we haven’t discussed this by ourselves before — we most certainly have talked about our issues with each other — but it’s a whole other story to talk about these things to a complete stranger. I mean, that’s really putting our relationship out there. It felt pretty good to know we were secure enough to let that happen, and to be able to talk so openly about things with someone else in the room.

Probably the greatest thing I’ve drawn from the whole discussion is that I’m even more grateful for the honesty, trust, and level of understanding we have in our relationship. We’ve just reached that level where I’m not afraid to say what I feel because I know that no matter what I say, it’ll be received with acceptance. That amount of freedom is truly amazing; especially for someone like me who grew up learning to be emotionally repressed. It’s like a breath of fresh air.

We also talked about the nitty gritty parts of the ceremony, like the exchange of vows. We decided that we were going to write up our own version of vows (with a humorous tone), and then the pastor will pipe in with the more “serious” portion (Here’s a hint as to our version of the vows: it’ll be very “us.” Draw your own conclusions). She also talked about the ring exchange, the wedding “march” and so forth. As for the music, there’ll be some amount of live music, especially for the processional, but most of the music for the day will be from a set playlist (The playlist is also very “us.” Heck, almost everything about the entire wedding will be very “us.” We’re unique that way).

All in all, it was a good thing meeting her. Not only did we get the details of the wedding straightened out, but we also gained new insight into our relationship, giving us even more reason to see this thing through.